Customer Service last week Dealing with all them telephone freaks Big Momma gets what she needs Now an Alabama Queen of the sea All aboard for shuffle board Shooting craps screaming, "Oh Lawd!" Nudey deck up on top No erections just floppys cocks Getting paid on a floating holiday Free drinks, mile long buffet Sittin' by the pool next to David Spade Big Momma floating on a holiday Nassau make your skin crawl Money tucked down deep in her bra Bought some shit for my friends at work Not for my Boss, that honkey's a jerk Big Momma, she won A cruise to have some fun Took a week, all paid To the Bahamas from Miami Dade

Lipstick on a cigarette, burn the cherry through the leather A half empty scotch glass sits beside a velvet feather Jake doesn't show his jokers as the lady plays her cards Black laced corset and chestnut hair, eyes like shooting stars She was a mountain girl born in a hollar then moved to Nashville Guitars and sass, reeling off of Music City's frills The path was a quick twirl, a high that never lasts Stripped down to the gawdamn bone, the roots of her past The roots of her past Poopy Doo

You ever had that sweat trickle down your back When the sun sets over the western sky And the dust and mire fill your calloused cracks But your too damned parch to even utter a sigh Must've walked twenty miles in these steel toed boots On a twelve hour shift making black gold loot Sipping from a thermos spiked with 190 proof Working for the weekend ain't go nothing to lose We don't know where to go Bust our ass just to put food on the stove Just don't know where to go These parts round here have always been home Well I've lived in this place for over 30 years Got a wife and two sons that anchor me here Got a company truck that gets me here to there Boss pays for the gas so I don't even care I found a house on the market for a real good deal A fixer up with a wrap around porch, you hear Two car garage, bay window, what a steal Homestead for the family, a life so real

Hello, may I take your order I saw that you have this Taco Bell Diet How? Tell me how? How does it work? I mean, I can understand the Subway Diet But, Taco Bell? Lose weight at Taco Bell? Really? Ya don't say I'd like three bean burritos With two soft tacos One enchirito And hold the tomato And could you put some sour cream on the side? Thanks It's the Taco Bell Diet You're gonna lose weight It's the Taco Bell Diet You're gonna lose 40 pounds You're gonna lose 40 pounds and then you're gonna die You're gonna lose weight and then you're gonna die You're gonna die Lose weight and die The Taco Bell Diet Burrito Taco The Taco Bell Diet

Way down in the South, way down in the Bayou Voodoo swamps baby, turn your soul blue Don't go down Ripper Road, stay away from that bridge You'll have to answer three questions, and even dance a jig Cause when you cross that bridge He's gonna be right there They call him the Blues Troll baby Play your blues, pay your toll Cause you ain't gonna cross baby Until you please the Troll... The Blues Troll He's a nasty sucker, mean is his name Underneath that pass, a creature deranged But if you got a guitar son, and you can tap your foot He'll let you cross that covered bridge, he'll let you cross that moat But you gotta tear up the strings boy Just like Hooker and Wolf

Her Ferrari's in the driveway Big rock on her finger Vixen of the nightlife Baby loves danger Snorts her blow behind closed doors She's a strip club nympho While her husband's winning Oscars She's starring in porno Momma's got a box of sterile needles On the back of a chopper Cruising Sunset Strip She's a groupie at the Whiskey On Mick Mars dick Hairspray, teased out She's an LA queen Just don't tell her secrets To the City of Broken Dreams